Because I cannot prove that God exists or does not exist remain an agnostic and I probably will remain one until the day I die. If God or some force exists, based on my time on earth and based on my observations and experience, I can only conclude that God is evil and the people who created religious texts probably believed the same thing. The Bible depicts God as cruel, jealous, capricious, and unbalanced.
I have fought against evil and that is why I created the blog God is Hate. For all my life I have been stymied by venomous fate and faced struggles that seemed to have been caused by outside forces and not coincidental. I feel like the poster child for Murphy's law which is not simply my perception. People who know me tell me I'm jinxed.
I suffered child abuse that has left damage both physical and mental. I was traumatized by and abusive narcissistic mother. I have mild fetal alcohol syndrome along with 5 brain injuries. As a result I have cognitive deficits which make normal tasks very difficult for me. School was a nightmare as a suffered with dysgraphia, dyscalculia, and dyslexia. I experience cognitive overload.
When I was a child I would pray for God to help me and God ignored me. When I went to Catholic religious instruction for making my first communion, I could not remember the little script, "Bless me father for I have sinned. This is my first confession." We had a rehearsal with a nun in a confessional and I was unable to recite the script. The nun cruelty berated me. On my way home I made a gesture at the church and therefore God. I not angry at the nun, the church or even my mother. Even as a 7 year old the whole God thing as explained by the nuns and the catechism sounded like bullshit and God sounded like an evil son of a bitch.
It is said that we should not be human beings but human doings. That makes sense. It is not even about the idea of self-actualization for me. My potential has been robbed by venomous fate and happenings that defy the odds in the way some people will win the lottery jackpot more than once while others get struck by lightning more than once. I'm pragmatic about that so abstract and nebulous concepts don't mean much to me. Let's be real. Life sucks for most people but if I have a reason for continuing in this biological trap called life, it is to improve the existence for the next victims who are not here yet but it is not because I have any love for the unborn, it because less suffering in the world will hurt God.
Islam and Christianity are sick and dangerous concepts and the adherents of those two religions range from mostly benign to incredibly dangerous. History is littered with atrocities committed in the name of their vile and depraved god.
Ending your belief in God won't change things but entertaining the possibility of existence and debunking, mocking and ridiculing the beliefs and believers of the Abrahamic spiritual fascism will improve things. Don't be Switzerland. FIGHT! Exposing religion's evil, hypocrisy, contradictions and cruelty will in my view make the world a better place. Do something to stop this insanity. Whether God is real or fictional, God is pure evil. Hate it until it dies.