Jesus Caught Lying

Jesus lied and Jesus got caught. How do you Christians like them apples?

Caveat: Nothing in the Bible was written by Jesus.

The Gospel of Jesus Christ

There is no Gospel of Jesus Christ! In fact not one single solitary word found in the Bible was written by Jesus and what was written about Jesus often contradicts itself.

There are at least 138 contradictions just in the book of Matthew. Read them by clicking HERE

Christians will lie and tell that the Bible is "divinely" inspired. It seems that God was not very concerned about accuracy. One would think that if God wanted to give us a book for how to live he would have written it himself.

Here are some glaring factual flubs in the Bible aka the Word of God.

How did Judas die?

He hanged himself.

Matthew 27:5

And he [Judas] cast down the pieces of silver in the temple, and departed, and went and hanged himself.

 He fell down and died.

Acts 1:18

Now this man [Judas] purchased a field with the reward of iniquity; and falling headlong, he burst asunder in the midst, and all his bowels gushed out.

Where did Jesus tell his disciples to go after his resurrection?

He told them to go to Galilee.

Matthew 28:10

Then said Jesus unto them, Be not afraid: go tell my brethren that they go into Galilee, and there shall they see me.

Mark 16:7

But go your way, tell his disciples and Peter that he goeth before you into Galilee: there shall ye see him, as he said unto you

He told them to tarry in Jerusalem.

Luke 24:49

And, behold, I send the promise of my Father upon you: but tarry ye in the city of Jerusalem, until ye be endued with power from on high.

Acts 1:4

And, being assembled together with them, commanded them that they should not depart from Jerusalem, but wait for the promise of the Father, which, saith he, ye have heard of me.

To whom did Jesus make his first post-resurrection appearance?

The two Marys

Matthew 28:1, 9
In the end of the sabbath, as it began to dawn toward the first day of the week, came Mary Magdalene and the other Mary to see the sepulchre.... And as they went to tell his disciples, behold, Jesus met them, saying, All hail. And they came and held him by the feet, and worshipped him.

Mary Magdalene

Mark 16:9
Now when Jesus was risen early the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom he had cast seven devils.

John 20:11-14
But Mary stood without at the sepulchre weeping ... and saw Jesus standing, and knew not that it was Jesus.

Cleopas and another

Luke 24:13-31
And, behold, two of them went that same day to a village called Emmaus.... And the one of them, whose name was Cleopas, answering said unto him, Art thou only a stranger in Jerusalem, and hast not known the things which are come to pass there in these days? ... And it came to pass, as he sat at meat with them, he took bread, and blessed it, and brake, and gave to them. And their eyes were opened, and they knew him; and he vanished out of their sight.

Cephas

1 Corinthians 15:4-5

And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures: And that he was seen of Cephas, then of the twelve. 

 

 

 

Trolling Christian Chat Rooms 101

Two New Christian Chatrooms! I have yet to troll them so I can't offer any specific advice. Check them out and report back in the comment section. 

Make your first visits reconnaissance and get to know the players before your start trolling.  

CHRISTIAN CHAT 

Christian Chat Rooms & Forums @ Christian Chat .com!

Christian Chat Rooms | Gods Chat Room

Update! This currently is the most active Christian Chat Room. Troll smart troll hard! http://www.christianchat.net/

The above chat room is full of very ignorant fuck wads and arrogant know it alls. Calvinisim really sends them for a loop. Salvation by grace is another topic that gets them riled up. Most Christians are the John 3:16 variety. They believe that simply believing that Jesus is God get you a free pass to heaven in spite of what an asshole you have been in your life but of course the Bible contradicts that.

Go there and tell them that salvation through grace is a false doctrine and then present the following scriptures.

These say that your salvation is predetermined. 

• Eph.1:4-5 "He hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will."

• Rom.8:29-30 "For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate.... Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified."

• 2 Tim.1:9 "Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began."

....but of course the Bible contradicts itself. 

1. Work your way to heaven.

   For you render to each one according to his works. -- Psalm 62:12

   For the Son of Man will come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and then He will reward each according to his works. -- Matthew 16.27

   And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works. And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works. -- Revelation 20:12-13

   Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also transform themselves into ministers of righteousness, whose end will be according to their works. -- 2 Corinthians 11:15

   The Father, who without partiality judges according to each one's work. -- 1 Peter 1:17

   What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works? can faith save him? -- James 2:14, 17, 20, 24, 26

   I will give unto every one of you according to your works. -- Revelation 2:23

   Behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work. -- Revelation 22:12

Christians suck and they are really fucking annoying. They are also as dishonest as a Mitt Romney political ad. The fun thing about Christians is when it comes to the Bible they don't know shit so it is really easy to fuck with them.

If these smug pious hypocrites piss you off with their evil lying and hypocrisy then pay them a visit and ask them some tough questions. The best place to fuck with them are in Christian chat rooms.

List of Christian chat rooms.

http://www.christianchat.info/

http://www.talkjesus.com/water-cooler/5036-chat.html#.U558JPldVQE

http://www.christianchat.net/

Here is a Jews for Jesus Chat http://www.jewsforjesus.org/online-chat

Jews are generally pretty smart but these are Jews for Jesus so these are probably as dumb as the average Christian. Hit the with some Evils of the Torah.

As you know Jews are still waiting the Messiah and the reason that they don't think Jesus is the real deal is because he fails to meet the prophetic criteria. From a Biblical perspective Jesus cannot be the Messiah. Click here for Jesus False Messiah.

Gone SHUT DOWN!   http://www.jesuschatrooms.com/20+.html 


http://chataboutjesus.com/


 Gone SHUT DOWN!  http://www.jesuschatrooms.com/

http://www.jesuschatroom.com/ These ones are really nasty.

http://visitationspirit.org/living-jesus-chat-room/chat-membership/

http://www.christkorner.com/

Going into a Christian Chatroom and telling them they are a bunch of hypocrites will get you banned immediately so start off slow. Get a feel for the members by reading what they are saying.

Knowledge is power and Christians are know it alls but when it comes to the Bible they don't know shit. So go in with more knowledge than the hypocrites/morons/Christians and doing that is quite easy.

The Bible has less that 300 nice things in it and over 2000 contradictions. Here is a SHORT LIST OF BIBLE CONTRADICTIONS

UPDATE: Mormon Chat Is Very Troll Worthy Click HERE!

A good question to ask is; "If Jesus is God and Jesus and Jesus and Lucifer are brothers is Lucifer also God? Mormons believe that Jesus and Lucifer are brothers.

Here is a good example: After you get these morons to say that the  Bible is 100% true ask them what Jesus' last word were. They won't know.  They rarely read the Bible yet they base their bullshit faith and world view on it.


Here is what the Bible says Jesus said as he drew his last breath.

Jesus' last words

MAT 27:46,50: "And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, "Eli, eli, lama sabachthani?" that is to say, "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" ...Jesus, when he cried again with a loud voice, yielded up the ghost."

LUK 23:46: "And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, "Father, unto thy hands I commend my spirit:" and having said thus, he gave up the ghost."

JOH 19:30: "When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, "It is finished:" and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost."

So much for the Bible being perfect.


Here are two more good sources for debunking Christianity.


http://www.evilbible.com/


456 Bible Contradictions


Have fun and show those assholes as much mercy as their god shows people that he burns in hell for all eternity.

UPDATE: Here is a Good Trolling Method: Is God All Know? Is Jesus God?

Ask if God is really all knowing and then ask if Jesus was/is God and of course they will say yes to both questions. If Jesus and his father are all knowing then they BOTH knew that Jesus would not perish after the crucifixion. So how then how was his death on the cross a sacrifice.

Jesus was also scared shitless and he doubted his "father in heaven". He asked, "Father why hast though forsaken me"  And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Matthew 27:46 and before that In Matthew 26:39, on the night before His crucifixion, Jesus prayed, O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will but as you will.

Here is what this proves:
Jesus was a chicken shit:
Jesus/God is in conflict with God.
Jesus is not all knowing and therefore not God.
God the father if all knowing knew the outcome so he did not sacrafice his "only begotten son".
God is not all knowing.
The "sacrifice" is BULLSHIT!

Scripture Evidence Proves That It Is BULLSHIT!

First, the plan of the cross had been established from the very foundations of the world. In Ephesians 1:4, Paul writes about this plan. The fact that it would include the slaying of God’s own Son is recorded in Revelation 13:8. Before Jesus was even born, He knew that He must "die" on earth. Yet Jesus didn't know that is was a done deal so that negates his deity. So much for Jesus being an all knowing god. Jesus didn't die and had he been God he would have known that. Jesus was "dead" for 36 hours.

Second, numerous times during His ministry, Jesus spoke of His coming death in graphic detail and referred to it as “drinking the cup.” In Matthew 16:21 Jesus began to teach His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem to suffer and die (cf. Matt 17:22-23; Luke 9:22). He even knew many of the details, that He would be arrested, condemned, mocked, whipped, spit upon, and killed (Mark 10:32-33).

Furthermore, He occasionally used the imagery of drinking deeply from a cup to describe this painful suffering and death He would endure (cf. Matt 20:22-23). Also, in an earlier prayer, He stated that He would not pray for God to save Him from the suffering that was to come (John 12:27-28) but when it came crunch time he did. WHAT A PUSSY!

Third, after the prayer in the Gethsemane, Jesus continued to show willingness to drink the cup. In John 18:11, after Jesus had finished praying, and as He was being arrested in the Garden of Gethsemane, Peter tried to rescue Jesus by pulling a sword on the Temple guards. But Jesus stopped Peter, and asked him, “Shall I not drink the cup which My Father has given Me?” and shortly after he chickened out and begged God to stop it.

So if both before and after the prayer in the Garden, Jesus knew what His death would entail, and showed complete acceptance of it, how can we understand His prayer in the Garden for the cup to pass from Him? Did He have a moment of weakness? Was He losing His resolve? Was He afraid of the pain? Did He change His mind? The answer to all of these is “FUCK YEAH!” 

Jesus and Romney Lie and Flip Flop

(Jesus speaking)

John 5:31 If I testify about myself, my testimony is not valid.

John 8:14 Even if I testify on my own behalf, my testimony is valid.

Like that piece of shit Mitt Romney Jesus is a flip flopper.